When Hope Dies
by GakuenAlicefan27
Summary: Diva's thoughts on Solomon after he betrays her. *Very minor spoiler alert because of some sentences* One-sided Diva x Solomon.


A/N: It's the first Blood+ fanfiction that I write, hope you like it! ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Blood+ (but I want to ^^).

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**When hope dies**

Diva didn't like love and she had good reasons for that.

Because she knew that no matter how much love could be wonderful while it lasted, it would not last forever.

And when it ended, the suffering that followed was the most unbearable thing in the world.

She loved him. Why couldn't he love her too?

Why nobody loved her?

A broken heart destroyed more than any sword aimed and spiked directly into the heart.

You would die if someone spiked a sword into your heart. Well, she wouldn't, unless there were drops of her sister's blood on it, but a normal person would die. The person would suffer greatly during some seconds, than he/she would be deprived of any kind of feeling by death, which would come fast and take the pain with it.

Diva had not noticed how special he was to her, until he left. And worse... he left to protect and love the person she hated more than anything in the world. That person that she had loved so long ago as her family, who now dedicates herself in trying to kill her.

Saya didn't even love him. As if it wasn't enough for her to have everything that Diva ever wanted, including the man she loved, she had to reject him too.

But he didn't leave. He continued by Saya's side even with the rejection, and that alone worsened the pain of the heartbreak. Diva loved him and he had left her, but he stuck with Saya even knowing that she didn't like him. Why? Was Diva that bad?

What is it that everyone loves Saya? Why is she so special?

A broken heart doesn't stop hurting, and if does, it never heals completely, leaving a permanent scar, which can reopen when you least expect it.

Who was the idiot who said "It is better to love and lose than never have loved."?

This person must have never truly loved someone, or would not have said such nonsense. Or maybe he was just trying to deceive himself in a desperate attempt to console himself after a broken heart.

Now, she realized that despite her efforts not to let love penetrate her heart once again, it was too late. Love had come and had already made its hole. Would this hole heal? This time, she didn't think so.

How could she distract herself to try to handle it? With a vengeance? Killing someone? Yeah, maybe she could just kill anyone for a little distraction. The first people she met on the street, it might be a good thing. It would distract her for a while, but not for long. Then, she could kill more people when her heart restarted aching, to distract herself again until the pain didn't return at all. No. There weren't enough people in the world for that, and besides, she didn't even know if the killings would be able to distract her. Sometime she would have to face the suffering.

This time the pain was serious and it hurt far more than the others, probably because he had entered deeper into her heart than anyone ever did.

And there she was. Lying in that bedroom's bed as she stared at the ceiling for at least two hours, holding what was left of a new doll that Karl had just given her.

Solomon had never given her a doll. It was always another chevalier who gave her them, and when he realized that she needed a new doll, he simply asked for someone to buy a doll and that someone gave her. Now that she thought about it, maybe that was why she was so fond of destroying the dolls.

Would she destroy a doll given to her by him? No. She would not destroy it. She would keep it as a treasure, but he had no way of knowing that.

Maybe he would have stayed if she had demonstrated how much she liked him. But, wasn't it obvious? Didn't he notice the difference between the way she treated him and the way she treated the other chevaliers?

Well, probably not. Nobody ever noticed, neither he nor the other chevaliers.

To tell the truth, not even Diva noticed them at that time. But now she realized those little things that were reserved just for him.

First of all, she respected him. She didn't respect any other chevalier. No one would ever see her have a childish attack directed at him. She could have one around him, but never directed at him.

And one of the things she liked the most about him was how he was not afraid of her. Even Karl was afraid of her, but Solomon wasn't. He never was. She was his queen, he was her chevalier, she was more powerful than him and he should fear her but he didn't. She never really knew why but she liked it. It meant he was valiant and strong.

But she wasn't so sure if she liked it now because it was also because of that that he was able to go away and betray her and his brothers.

Diva's heart ached. Why had he done this? She unfortunately knew the answer to that question, however much she wanted to deny it. How had he done this? She really did not know it.

He was her chevalier, he should be unable to betray her. Well, at least she thought so, but she was wrong again. But really, it was a surprise not only to her, as for her chevaliers and up to Saya and the others too. Everyone thought that the ties that bound chevaliers to their queen were too strong to be broken, that they would always protect her, putting their life in front of hers without hesitation.

Now he wanted her dead.

Her heart ached again, worse than the last time (that hadn't even stopped aching yet.)

He must hate her with an absurd intensity to have managed to do so. Or maybe he just loves Saya with an absurd intensity. Or even both. She already found it unbearable to handle just one of these options alone…if both of them were right…she preferred not to know. She really didn't. Maybe her heart wouldn't be able to stand it and it would break down permanently, or maybe she would get crazy (and people already thought that she was crazy, if only they knew how much crazier she could get… )…

But she was not crazy, she was just a girl who had everything taken from her and given to her sister. She was just someone who had suffered more than anyone deserved to in life, and wanted revenge for that. Was it so difficult to understand it? She had thought that maybe he could understand, but he couldn't.

Her heart ached for the third time.

She liked the way he always wore white, because he never said it, but she knew that it was because he was wearing white when he first met her, and it made her happy, one way or the other, because it was as if she meant something for him, as if he liked to be her chevalier.

He only wears black now. Black, black, black, throwing right on her face how much he dislikes her every time she sees him, even if sometimes he doesn't even see her. When she first met him after he left ... and she saw him with that black outfit ...it seemed strange now but she had hoped he still wore white. That was the moment she felt that the change was indeed absolute, and was also the moment that distorted her legs and she almost fell on her knees. She managed to stand still, however, and nobody noticed what had almost happened, fortunately.

She would never let the other chevaliers find out about her feelings for Solomon, otherwise things could end really badly. They already wanted to kill him for his betrayal, so if they found out about her feelings for him they would be able to try to kill him even harder, out of jealousy. It was not a good thing to have favorites, even though she only had one, but she couldn't really avoid doing that.

And the worst of all is that she does not want him to die. He treated her like trash, but she can't bear to see him dead. Oh, why did he have to hate her?

Well, if he didn't hate her, if he only loved Saya very much, than he would hate her when she killed her sister. Yes, because she would kill Saya. She had to, it was necessary, at least in her point of view. So, when she did it… she would be giving him every reason in the world, if he didn't already have them, to hate her until the end of times.

Why couldn't they be happy together? Why did he have to want to be happy by her sister's side?

Then, one thing she had not thought about until now suddenly occurred to her, and with it came not an ache, but something much worse. It seemed that someone was squeezing her heart against her chest without mercy over and over again.

Even if Saya did not like Solomon, it was possible that Saya wanted to have children, so ... she could use him, even if she threw him out again after that, she could be a mother. Would Saya's chevalier let her have children with Solomon? Wouldn't he be too jealous? He might let, after all, he wanted her to be happy above all, and she would be very happy if she had children, wouldn't she?

No, please, don't. She wanted to have children so much, that's why she raped and killed that boy. Now she was happy because she soon would give birth to these beautiful children, her beloved children. She knew that was impossible, but she had always wanted to have children with Solomon. She loved her unborn children very much even though they weren't his, but ... if they were ... she could not describe the happiness and love she would feel.

Sadly, as she had already said it, this was impossible for her.

But it was possible for Saya.

They could have beautiful children too. Her hated sister could have children with the man she loved, and he'd be more than happy to be the father of her children. Everything she wanted, everything she wanted...

Would he be so happy if he could have children with her? Would he be so happy if she, Diva, were the mother of his children?

She thinks that he would prefer not to have any children at all if he could only have them with her. Oh, how it hurts, how it hurts.

She got up from the bed with a jolt, as if the sudden movement could scare away the pain. It did not work.

Would it always be like that? She, herself and her? Would she ever be loved by anyone? Will her children love her?

Being loved by anyone sounded impossible even to her, she had lost her hopes on that.

Hope is the last one to die, they say.

Well, after a very long time, her hopes had finally died, even though she tried not to let them.

And even Diva knew that when hope dies, it means only one thing:

It's over.

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A/N: That was it. Thanks for reading! Reviews? ^^


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